Becoming a parent is a transformative experience in many ways (more on that at a later date), but one of the most unexpected shifts for me was the decision to stop drinking alcohol. After having children, even before, I realized that alcohol, while often a social staple, was causing more harm than good. The effects of “hangxiety”—that gnawing anxiety that follows a night of drinking—coupled with the desire to be more present for my family, led me to reconsider my relationship with alcohol. Here’s a personal reflection on how being “sober curious” in an undogmatic way has not only improved my well-being but has also enriched my life in unexpected ways.

The Decision to stop drinking alcohol: From Hangxiety to Clarity

I do want to add a note here that I am privileged in that I personally never identified with or have been diagnosed with addiction. If you are struggling, I see you, you are not alone, and help is available. 

I used to consume alcohol to unwind during pleasant meals or to improve social interactions. However, the exhaustion, hangovers, and anxiety I experienced the following day began to have a negative impact on me. It became clear that alcohol was no longer advantageous for my well-being. When I became pregnant, the choice was made for me. I never consumed a significant amount of alcohol before, particularly after I stopped attending school, but I never resumed drinking after having children.

Research supports this personal realization, as studies indicate that reducing alcohol intake can have a significant positive impact on mental health. A recent study published in The Lancet Rheumatology (2023) revealed a correlation between moderate to heavy drinking and higher rates of anxiety and depression. Conversely, abstaining from alcohol can result in enhanced mood and decreased anxiety levels. Personally, eliminating alcohol from my life has resulted in improved cognitive function and a more balanced emotional state, enabling me to be more attentive and involved with my family.It is also beneficial that the trend of being ‘sober curious’ is gaining popularity online, especially among gen Z.

This trend has led to the introduction of exciting new alcohol-free elixirs, mocktails, and non-alcoholic drinks, which are now more easily accessible.

Redefining What it Means to Have and Be Fun

One of the most surprising aspects of my journey with “sober curiosity” has been discovering how to enjoy myself without relying on alcohol. Many people mistakenly believe that drinking is necessary for fun and excitement, but I have learned that true happiness comes from genuine experiences. Whether it’s spending time with my family, dancing like no-one is watching, or working on a creative project, I am trying to fully embrace the pure essence of fun. This intentional approach to fun has also allowed me to reconnect with my interests and passions, enriching my life in unexpected ways.

Navigating Social Settings and Perceptions

Admittedly, navigating social settings as a sober individual can be challenging. In many social circles, especially where I live, alcohol is deeply embedded in traditions and celebrations. It can sometimes feel like being sober makes me stand out or that I’m missing out on the camaraderie associated with drinking.

Despite these challenges, I am trying to embrace my ‘sober curiosity’ with confidence. It’s important to me that I remain perceived as a “fun” person, and I’ve found that true fun comes from being fully engaged and present rather than from consuming alcohol. Being sober doesn’t mean missing out; it means experiencing life more vividly and authentically.

Finding New Friendships and Enriching My Life

One of the most fulfilling parts of my journey has been the formation of new friendships. By choosing to abstain from alcohol, I have connected with individuals who also value sobriety or have similar beliefs. These relationships have introduced me to people from diverse backgrounds and various religious practices, which have greatly enhanced my life. For example, I have made friends within different faith communities who prioritize living mindfully and maintaining good health. These connections have expanded my perspective and deepened my understanding of different ways of life. It demonstrates how embracing sobriety can lead to new and enriching experiences and relationships.

Adjusting My Perspective on Life

Trying out being ‘sober curious’ has been more than just a personal choice; it’s been a journey of growth and discovery. I am realizing that true fun and fulfillment come from genuine connections and experiences. 

Being ‘sober curious’ in this season of life has allowed me to be more present, enjoy life with renewed energy, and build meaningful connections with others. While navigating social situations can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity to redefine what it means to have fun and to fully embrace life’s moments without relying on alcohol. For anyone considering a similar journey, know that the rewards—both personal and social and financial —can be transformative.

I am not rigid in my approach and I acknowledge that I have the privilege of choosing whether to continue this path or not. However, I believe it is worth exploring if you are ‘sober curious’ as well.

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